Bad Girls Club on Oxygen

I don't normally watch this show because I don't get Oxygen in Chicago (stupid RCN). But I'm at my momma's in Missouri and it's all that's on right now. The show is fun. I'm enjoying it. But I can't help but laugh that it's called the Bad Girls Club, and these bitches continuously explain to the cameras how bad they are and what makes them so bad. By definition they are not that bad if they have to explain it ad nauseum. Sort of like how I'm constantly telling people how funny I am. No one seems to understand it, or agree, but I keep telling them. I get it. I'm clearly not that funny. I am however an amazing blogger and movie reviewer. RIGHT?

These girls aren't bad. What they are is trashy, immature, and disrespectful. If someone makes a joke and puts a rubber rat under your bed, and your retaliation is to bleach all their clothes - you aren't "bad", you're an adolescent. They're all sluts, so I suppose if you want to call that "bad", they are. They also try really hard. They drink excessively and they all smoke. Ooooo, you're bad!! I'm not sure what I think would qualify as bad girls, but I'm guessing it's something illegal. Working in porn or as a prostitute. Getting in real fights, and not punching a bitch because she refuses to carry a raft for you. These are silly little girls. But I am enjoying watching them try to prove how bad they are.

Twilight Movies

I read the books. I liked the first one a lot. The other three were just too much, and couldn't get on board. I basically skimmed all three to get to the end just so I'd know the conclusion (predictable thought it was). The movie was not good. I understand that teenage girls will not care that the acting is horrible, the special effects are phony, the dialog is contrived, and everyone looks constipated all the time. But critics and adults, mostly women my age and older, loved it too. I don't get it. Robert Pattinson is a cutie, but no more so than any other hot young actor in his 20s. Kristen Stewart is horrendous. People love her and I don't get it. She's pretty enough, but always looks bored and annoyed and high. I think she probably did one movie where her character was bored and annoyed and high and she carried it over into everything else she ever did, including real life. It doesn't work. It doesn't translate at all, and while watching it I was so confused by why she even took the role since she seems to hate it so much. The scene I keep playing over in my head is at the end when she's in the hospital and Edward is threatening to leave. She just thrashes in an annoyed fashion, breathes and says "um, no" over and over. I can't believe that scene made it through editing. I'd have redone that in a heartbeat and recast her if she couldn't possibly make that scene mildly believable.

I do not understand how it was such a universal hit across all people. It's one thing that the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus and everything else Disney spit out are loved by the tween masses, but for a movie to get such appeal while basically encouraging pedophilia is beyond me. Seriously, I don't care if the dude is 17, fact is, he's been 17 for like 100 years. Looks aside, he's an old man. If Chris Hansen got a hold of this guy he'd be toast. Not to mention the fact that GROWN women around the world are drooling over the 16 year old werewolf kid. It's so socially acceptable. If a 40 year old man wore a tee shirt with Miley Cyrus on it and swooned over how "hot" she is, no one would laugh and nod in agreement. Such a double standard for this poor kid, who despite his 30 pounds of muscle, still very much has little boy face and voice. I will probably see New Moon someday. Maybe when it's on TV. I've heard the acting, story line, and special effects are better than in the first one, but I just can't be bothered. I will not be posting a picture on this post. FYI.

Up in the Air - also describes my feelings about this movie

So many things to say! I don't even know where to begin. I mean, you know going into it that it's going to be romanticized, and that Ryan (George Clooney) will, in the end, decide he hates his solitary life of traveling 322 days a year. You know it's coming, you don't know how or when, and that's Jason Reitman's job. He does it well. Ryan meets his match in Alex. A sexy woman his age who also travels for a living. Don't know what her job is, don't care. She and Ryan compare notes in the form of loyalty program cards, Hilton Honors points, and membership cards. Ryan blows her out of the water. He's an expert packer, traveler, small talk maker, and firer (that's what HIS job is). He's tasked with showing a young ingénue at his company the ropes. She's an idealistic 23 year old whipper snapper who thinks that you can fire people via webcam and save money on travel. Ryan is going to prove her wrong. I know a movie is going to be a little bit more dramatic than any real life situation, but Natalie shows up for her first flight with a giant suitcase that doesn't roll very well, that she intends to check. I barely travel but I know that's a recipe for disaster. Ryan's first order of business: buy a suitcase that you can carry on. So she opens her luggage in the middle of the airport to transfer her belongings. She has not only a neck pillow (in her checked baggage??) but a full size pillow in case the hotel doesn't offer such amenities. I get it, they were making a point. Travel light. And for the sake of the movie she needed to have things in her bag Ryan could throw out without looking like a dick. You can't very well get the viewer to believe he'd toss 7 pairs of shoes while she smiles.

So Natalie is "on board". They fire people together, the predictable baloney happens. She takes it too hard, she messes up a few times, she gets better, she thinks it might be better to fire in person. Aside from offering a vehicle through which Ryan has developed his motivational speaking engagements (What's in your backpack?) his job is sort of inconsequential as well. He meets Alex in a hotel bar early on. They have a fling. It seems to be getting serious when he invites her home for his sister's wedding. She hesitates then says she'd love to. They get in a little deeper. They are both "very glad" he brought her home. Ryan sees the benefit of settling down with one person. Coming home to someone every night; having someone to count on. He goes to Chicago, and shows up on Alex's doorstep, perhaps to tell her this. The shocking twist? She's married with children! You don't see that every day. The woman using a man as her outlet from her humdrum existence. The next day Alex calls Ryan and reprimands him for nearly messing up her life. Though she never told Ryan she was married, or that she had kids, and she spent a weekend exploring his hometown and getting close to his family, she is shocked that he thought they were at all serious. Maybe this was supposed to be some commentary on how women are becoming stronger. Ladies: this isn't how we achieve equality. Don't sink to his level! If a man did that the woman would have marched into his house and told his wife exactly what was going on while he's traveling on "business".

Ryan re-evaluates his life, hits the one goal he had for himself (flying 10 million miles) and that's kind of it. We get the impression he wants to settle down. Will he? No clue. Maybe we should assume he considered trying it with Alex but she burned him so bad he won't risk it again. It's unclear, and I didn't feel like this was a movie where I wanted the end to be ambiguous enough that it was left up to me. Everything was spoon fed to you throughout, why stop now? I didn't feel like Ryan had enough of a transformation from self sufficient loner for me to even care.

I'm most torn on Alex. I just hate women like her. I'd hate a man who did the same, don't get me wrong. But I expect more from my sex. She travels for a living. She's barely home. Yet she spent a full weekend away from her husband and small children to play girlfriend to a man she clearly has no interest in beyond using him as a distraction. She never came out and said "I'm single and always have been, and I have no children" but she more than implies it. Natalie is grilling her about her decision to live her life the way she has, with no partner, and she defends her solitary existence. Was she lying or does she feel that way? I say lying, and it bothers me almost as much as her lying to Ryan. She obviously did think it was important to have that family life at home, but sells Natalie a song and dance about how it's not what really matters. Being happy is more important than settling. It doesn't seem like she settled. She could have been honest with Ryan and tried for a future with him. She wants to have her cake and eat it too, and people like her? Life just works out for them.

I did like it. I loved watching Ryan pack up his suitcase and march to the front of every line everywhere. I want to travel like him, without the 10 million miles to back it up. I wish I was confident enough to have a drink alone at a bar; strike up conversations with whomever; and fly without Xanax. I have gone on one business trip in my life and I ordered room service and ate alone in my PJs. It does make business travel mighty glamorous!

The breakout excitement I wasn't expecting? Jason Bateman. He should be in every movie. I just love him. I also just found out this was a book first. I hate it when I don't know that. I think I'd have liked this better in a book. I'm interested to know how they handled the Alex situation. I just don't like how she really seemed to be on the same page as Ryan. But we find out she wasn't even a bit torn. She didn't fall so hard for Ryan she couldn't control herself. She just wanted to have some fun. Ugh. Solidarity sister...but I'm still disappointed.

I find myself disappointed in women in film lately (Meryl Streep in It's Complicated). I need a strong woman in a movie to bring back my faith! Coincidence that the movies are made and written by men? Nahh...

The film's tagline is that he's a man trying to make a connection. I don't think he does. He attempts to of course, but he's burned by it. Basically proving he was right all along. Whether you get married, have children and spend your life with your true love, you're still going to die alone. So why bother.

Do you think Seth MacFarlane will marry me?

I would like to at least ask. I am sure I'm not the first to have this thought, but I really feel a connection to him. You know, via his cartoon TV show writing. I love his work. I love Family Guy and American Dad. You can watch them for the pure comedy of the show if you want. And there is plenty of that. It is light and fluffy and hilarious. I laugh nonstop, but it's the smartest comedy around. I happen to agree with him politically for the most part which works out in my favor, but his message is often so subtle and poignant that I think it transcends most religious, cultural and political divides.

The recent Christmas episode of American Dad, titled "The Rapture" really touched me. I'm Jewish and didn't even know about this "rapture". Well, in all honesty that could be part ofJudaism and I wouldn't have had a clue, but that's neither here nor there.

The Rapture in a nutshell: As usual, Stan Smith is disappointed in his family. We open to the Smiths in their living room on Christmas morning, and Stan seething with disgust. They aren't dressed properly and don't have enough Christian faith, and he's embarrassed to attend church with them on Christmas. But he takes them nonetheless. Upon arrival at church they are unable to find seats because of the "bad" Christians attending church simply because it's Christmas. Francine takes Stan into a closet to...cheer him up. When they come out, they see that everyone is floating up to the sky, naked. The priest (brilliantly left behind) explains it's the rapture and everyone is being called "home". Stan and Francine are left behind, presumably from knocking boots in God's house. He don't like that! Most everyone is raptured, including half of a gay couple, his partner left behind hilariously exclaiming "apparently god does love gays; provided they're tops." Too funny! Stan tries to beg and bribe his way into heaven by offering up Francine as the whore and his temptress. They separate, she hooks up with Jesus, Stan is unable to get to heaven. He becomes a renegade, fighting demons or the devil or what have you. He realizes all he really ever wanted was Francine. He sacrifices himself to save her, so that she can live a happy life with Jesus. Upon his death, Stan is finally "raptured" and heads on up to the pearly gates. He is informed that he'll be taken to his own personal heaven. He's glum and uninterested, as Francine is his true happiness, and he doesn't want to be without her. He enters his own personal heaven and we're transported right back to the beginning of the episode. Stan is in his living room with his family, where 28 minutes early he had bitched and moaned about how horribly they sucked. And there you have it folks. Our families suck sometimes. We are disappointed in them sometimes. They drive us up the wall and embarrass us and you can think sometimes you hate them more than anyone. But they are your very own heaven on earth. Being surrounded by the people you love is all that matters.

So I just wanted to say Seth - I'm pretty sure you're my personal heaven on earth. Gimme a call wink wink.

I tried out Keeping up with the Kardashians

It was very cute! I found it really entertaining and I can totally see the appeal. They all seem sweet, funny, and it's a damn good looking family! I could even see myself watching this again (Not Tivo season pass worthy, but good). However...no one thinks it's real do they? It was a formulaic situation comedy. There were themes than no amount of story editing could accomplish in a true reality show. I couldn't help but notice, though it didn't detract from my entertainment.

They are a talented family. You don't get the impression that the show is strictly scripted at all. I imagine they are given subjects to discuss, plot lines to follow, the occasional bomb shell to drop.

I'll say my only disappointment is the overly made up preteen girls, who are a bit too grown up for my midwest liking. I think I'm just a crotchety 30 year old lady who can't get with the times though. I wonder if in LA (I think that's where the show is set) people really do walk around in full wardrobe and make up 24/7? They all looked great, but I couldn't do it. I have been at my mom's house for 3 days and haven't put on make up, put in my contacts, or gotten dressed beyond jeans and a tee shirt once. And I wouldn't have it any other way :)

"Reality" TV

I can't stand reality TV. I can't stand what it stands for. I might even like it for the entertainment value of it, but it feels like condoning moronic behavior to watch it, raising the ratings, raising the money the channel makes in sponsors, and raising the amount money these losers are paid per episode. I'm talking about anything with Housewife in the title, Jersey Shore and almost anything on MTV, anything about a celebrity couple, the phony dating shows on any and every channel, and I could go on and on. It's disappointment not that people find entertainment in watching the equivalent of a train wreck on television, but disappointment in who we, as a society, revere as our celebrities. Hard work comes in different forms and isn't compensated fairly or sensibly. Garbage men work as hard as anyone, and it's certainly a profession that we could not live without. Sure, you might say it's a simple enough job and "anyone can do it", lowering the salary. How hard is it to model though? Stand there and pose for pictures? Don't sic Tyra Banks on me, but that ain't rocket science. I happen to look more like a garbage man than a model so I couldn't make my living that way, but why is a woman who stands on a rock in a bikini paid millions of dollars and a man who keeps our streets clean paid pennies? Holy tangent!
I can't support some dingbat with more hair gel than brains making his tanning money by acting like a complete disrespectful douche bag on television.

So no, I won't watch these shows. I have done, and I've been burned. I was a loyal follower of Jon and Kate the early years, and look what's happened. Your altruistic show to serve a dual purpose of supporting your family and allowing people a glimpse at what they are so curious about anyway is trumped by dollar signs and fancy parties. The draws are such that people are beginning to go to ridiculous lengths to get their own show. Take the balloon boy family for example. The parents of small children involved said children in an illegal plot to gain some media attention. They knew it was illegal, not to mention unethical and setting an absolutely horrendous example for their children, but they didn't care. There is some quality that "celebrities" have now. I can't place it. It's not just looks, it's not just attitude. It's a thing, and it ain't talent or intelligence, and it breaks my heart. It's Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Sarah Palin and Jon and Kate and someone called Snookie and a douche bag called the Situation. The truly talented are lost in the shuffle, or called fat. Soon everyone will sound the same (thanks autotune), look the same (thanks Dr. 90210), and think the same (thanks jaeger bombs). I love imperfection. Bring it back. Give me your balding men, your extra 5 pounds, your muffin tops, your true love stories. Bring back reality.

Funny People

He's stupid successful, so I can't criticize, but I'm fairly certain that Judd Apatow only makes movies so he can hang out with his friends and family all day long at work. Nice work if you can get it. His movies are great, and they make the big bucks, but often I find myself thinking perhaps all of his casting choices aren't the best. Luckily for him, his wife Leslie Mann is amazing, and great in every role his gives her. Funny People was just okay. It was way too long. I'd like to meet the editor, because he left about 45 minutes of crap in there. Adam Sandler's character is an uber wealthy movie star, so he can afford to hire someone to "talk him to sleep". I get it, he can't sleep, he used to have friends that did it for him, but now he is alone and has to pay someone to. Got it. I don't need to see 10 minutes of him being talked to sleep every night. I just don't. The highlight is that Adam Sandler is making fun of himself in the movie. His washed up character makes stupid movies where he talks in stupid voices and is basically not even funny. Sound familiar? Yeah...that's basically what Adam Sandler's deal is.

So Adam's character (George) has some incurable cancer and is going to die in months. He reconnects with his first love (Leslie Mann, now married with children), goes back to stand up comedy (at first unsuccessfully) and hires a new writer/assistant (Seth Rogan's Ira). He takes some hocus pocus holistic remedies and is cured. Cancer gone - life back on track. He had an epiphany. He realized he doesn't want this empty life of banging hot chicks and living in a mansion. He wants the quiet life with his old lover, kids, and a house in the suburbs. He has that for about three seconds when he bores of it. He has no interest in the children or a quiet life or settling down. He's a selfish, egotistical, know it all who doesn't want to accommodate anyone ever. Meanwhile, his old lover has renewed her love of him, decided she's bored of her husband and is ready to leave him for George, and bring her kids to live with him. George of course, doesn't want what's being offered him. He wants to live in a bubble where he can have his old flame, but still live his new life.

He treats Ira like crap. Ira who stood by him in death, does his dirty work and takes no credit, and keeps George out of all kinds of trouble. It's not until the last moments of the movie that George mans up and apologizes, and appreciates Ira. You get the impression George learned nothing, except that he really doesn't want the boring life in the suburbs with 2.5 kids and a 9-5 job.

Too long Judd. Give me a call, I'll tell you what to cut. Because there is a lot.

Yes Man

Not terrible! I resisted seeing this, because really, the last thing the world needs is another goofy Jim Carrey movie. This movie is goofy, but sweeter than I expected, and aside from a very few moments, completely lacking in Jim Carrey ridiculousness. It was a little too Liar Liar, but one can't expect TOO much from a light hearted comedy. The world seems to be running out of original ideas. Once again, Zooey Deschanel expertly plays the quirky, unpredictable gal, not doing what will make her successful by societal standards, but just doing what she wants. She seems surprisingly well kept for someone who, by all estimation, has no job or way to earn income aside from an early morning running group she leads, along which the runners also snap photos. Toward the end we see her at a gallery, during an exhibition of, it appears, her photos. Pictures it seems she took while running, with a bizarre camera that takes surprisingly great photos, that she then somehow develops and mounts and displays in a gallery, despite making no money. Unrealistic movie artistry at its best. That aside, she does play quirky well.

Jim Carrey is endearing in his role as Carl Allen. Bank loan officer by day...not much else by night. The message of the film, intended or not, is great. Open yourself up, say yes a bit more, try new things and in general, just put yourself out there. Carl gets two promotions in short order by giving out micro loans to any and everyone who asks. The people are so grateful, they pay back the money quickly and in full, and the bank makes money. Carl's ally at work, Norman (Norm, oh hey! That's like a nickname for me, right?) sticks by Carl in a really heartwarming way. Not knowing if he's being punished or rewarded, Norm stands by Carl's side when he's being confronted about his 500 loan approvals. When Carl gets lauded and promoted for his work, he leaves Norm behind. Norm who stood up for him and stood by him. He does end up making amends with Norm at the end. After shutting down his bank branch and taking away his source of income, he introduces Norm to a girl...so that's something I suppose. Naturally Carl had recently been dumped for a richer (yet worse looking of COURSE) man. His ex finds his new attitude sexy and appealing, and wants him back. Carl says no. He says no!! He realizes he sometimes has to say no, damn the consequences and "covenant" which I never understood. Something hokey that Carl thinks is true. If he says no, the world comes after him. He says no to his ex, so an elevator breaks down and his car gets towed. Ehhhh, not so much, but I see the charm. Bradley Cooper is in the movie. Enough said. I'm not sure what the point of his character is. He's a true friend to Carl, but Carl doesn't listen to him. Who needs that in a movie.

District 9

Now granted, I'm a bit of a sci fi nerd. Well, I'm more caught in the middle. Sci Fi purists would think I'm a disgrace, but people who hate any movie with the hint of an alien or supernatural creature think I'm a freak. I liked District 9. There were some peculiarities that bothered me, like how the aliens speak their language, and humans speak English, but they understand each other perfectly. I'll let it slide as I remember back to my early days learning French, when comprehension was so much easier than independent speech. I took the movie as a jab at racism, rather than an alien fight flim. It's no longer socially acceptable in any form of media to express racism against a group of humans for their skin color, religion, sexuality, or appearance in any way. So hey, let's bring aliens down to earth and discriminate against them. The aliens live in slums and are treated as second class citizens. They accept it because they are for some reason unable to get back to their home planet. It's never explained how or why the aliens ended up on earth. If it was at all purposeful or if it was completely an equipment malfunction that stalled their craft over South Africa. As that was never broached in the movie, I chose to see the existence of the aliens on earth as a means to an end. A way to get a life form on the planet, mingling closely to a society, and be able to discriminate against them so drastically and acceptably by everyone. As a viewer of the movie, you can also relate to the discrimination. It's okay, and not just because it's been portrayed smartly in the movie.

The first preview I saw, I thought it was a real documentary of a people in South Africa bemoaning the arrival of another civilization whom they hated. I assumed it was another race or tribe or group of some sort, and I automatically went on guard. Who are they to speak about another group of people like that, simply because they are different?? You become enraged, then realize are talking about aliens, and then it's "okay" I suppose. By disassociating the "aliens", we can examine ourselves as a society. Is that how all forms of racism start? Part ignorance, part human nature? You bring over a slave ship full of people who look different than us, dressed in shabby rags and chained together, is it unreasonable that people started to think of them as less than human simply because they are different? Of course it is. We know that. But every decade or so there is a new group that most of a society decides to discriminate against. You're Irish, you're black, you're Jewish, you're Asian, you're gay, you're fat, you're transgendered. Whatever your "difference" is, it will begin to threaten someone's idea of normal and abnormal is bad. I consider myself to be without any trace of racism. I hate equally. I'm white and Jewish. There are other white Jewish people I dislike. There are a few black people I dislike, and I'm proud to say it has absolutely nothing to do with their race. Gosh, there are so many great reasons to hate people! Why settle for something as silly as their appearance or sexual orientation?! So for a person like me, who is devoid of racism, how can I possibly relate to someone in a movie in a position of power, suppressing a people? Neill Blomkamp found a way! The movie brings "humans" together as one race, one people, one group protection our planet. But is it even our planet? Did we discover earth like Christopher Columbus discovered America? Were these aliens here long before us, and left for a week to go visit their in laws and returned, but a week in space is a few million years here? They leave their planet nice and comfy. Dinosaurs roaming about, and come back and find we have taken over?

I digress. I think in the movie you either sympathize with the aliens or you don't. You either think they are the equal to humans or not. It's fascinating to think like this. To be so confident that you are above racism, and still be torn. This is our planet. You showed up and can't get home, so we'll let you stay. But you can't integrate with us, because we don't know if you are safe and can be trusted. But who are we to determine this? We want a wall between the US and Mexico to keep Mexicans out. Is that much different than what is happening to the aliens in District 9? I think not. I think the movie is a brilliant portrayal of racism in its most basic form, put in a way that anyone can understand.

I recommend this movie for lovers of science fiction, and of unique ways to explore the social conscious.

It's Complicated

Dear John Krasinksi:

You've done it again!

OK OK, he can basically only play one character; but it's good and I'm not sick of it yet, so he saved the movie for me. The movie was cute, and I enjoyed it, but I expected more from Meryl Streep's character Jane in the movie. I was never married for 19 years and had my husband leave me for a woman younger than my shoes, so I can't claim to know what it's like when he suddenly comes around again, but I can say it bugged me in this movie. From the previews I was hoping Jane and her former husband really did have some unfinished business, or were still in love and had just let time tear them apart. In fact no. Her ex husband Jake who cheated on her, IS A CHEATER. He finds himself attracted to his ex wife, obviously because she has moved on without him and has a happy successful life. He only wants what he can't have and blah blah blah, boring tale. Jake's young hot wife has a 5 year old son that runs him ragged, and she wants to have another baby. He's nearly 60 and this prospect is daunting, and a life with Jane would be settled. Their kids are grown and his work is done. He's a lazy, slovenly man who wants what's easiest. As a successful lawyer he was rich enough to attract the young hottie even while he was married with three children, and now he's not even happy with her.

After 10 years of divorce, Jane isn't thinking about a fling with her ex. But when her kids leave her alone in the hotel in NYC following her son's graduation, she and Jake find themselves sitting at the same bar, and get drunk, dance, and have sex in his hotel room. Jane was drunk, lonely, and hadn't had sex in probably more years than she cares to admit, but the affair continues even back in California. She's an attractive, successful, funny woman with her own business and a gaggle of friends. But she keeps sleeping with her MARRIED ex husband, who is currently trying to get his wife pregnant. He's the one cheating, but she's the one I'm disappointed in. He's a cheater by nature. He is a slimeball to the core, and it shouldn't surprise his current wife at all that he'd cheat. It's the oldest lesson in the world. He cheated on his wife with you. He's a cheater. He is going to cheat on you. The all star cast tricked me into expecting more from the movie than the same old same old. I thought the film would be smarter. I wanted Jane to refuse all of Jake's advances, or for Jake to have already been separated from his wife and not be "that guy".

Jake and Jane's three kids were the sugary-est most sickeningly perfect kids you can imagine. It was too much, down to the scene where all three are cuddled into bed crying over the fact that their divorced parents had been sleeping together but aren't getting back together. The kids were altogether superfluous in this film in my opinion, except for being the reason Jake and Jane are alone in a hotel in NYC, and for adding John Krasinki to the mix in the form of one of Jake and Jane's kid's fiance.

Jane had a second love interest blossoming in the form of adolescent Steve Martin, the architect for her house's new addition. Aside from one scene where he's totally high, I could have done without him as well. You don't even feel bad that Jane stomps all over his heart because he's such a weak excuse for a man. John Krasinski added the comic relief that I would have liked to see from Steve Martin. I think at the end we're supposed to feel like Jane is a strong, powerful woman because she rejects Jake's advances. But it's after weeks of allowing him into her bed, and letting his wife catch on.

There's an awkwardly moving moment toward the end where Jake is putting his wife's son to bed, and in his sleep, the son (Pedro), clutches Jake's hand to his heart and sighs. It nearly brings tears to Jake's eyes, but he still wants to continue his affair with Jane, and leave Pedro behind forever. It was just another unnecessary scene in the movie; if in fact nothing was ever going to come of it. I prefer for movies to have insignificant scenes that you think will be forgettable, then come back later to have served a great purpose. Nothing in this movie served any purpose. Jane's middle daughter is packing up and moving in the beginning, but you don't know where or why or even care. The awkward scene with Pedro. Jake and Jane's son claiming he has no memory of his parents together as a couple though he was 11 when they divorced. I kept waiting for something to mean anything, and it never happened.

I can't say I recommend this movie at all, aside from for minor entertainment.

Inglorious Basterds

The hype on this movie, and that of most Quentin Tarantino movies, is enough to sour me on a whole film. Add to that the three ring circus that follows Brad Pitt to any movie he makes, and I was thoroughly uninterested in anything Inglorious about these Basterds. But I love going to the movies so much, that if that's all someone wanted to see; I'll go simply for the overpriced popcorn and soda. As heavy as the subject matter is, and as depressing as the true story behind the movie is, Tarantino created a fantasy beyond what anyone could have hoped had truly happened over 60 years ago to Hitler.




I'm not sure how Brad Pitt got top billing, aside from the fact that he's Brad Pitt; he wasn't the "star" of the film. Brad was good, and I liked his character's Apache Aldo side, but he was a little too awkward in a tuxedo. I understood the point. He's a man who is more comfortable in a jungle scalping Nazis than at a fancy movie premier, but his composure was so bizarre that that it made me uncomfortable. I will overlook it because Brad was much better than I expected! Nicely done.

Christoph Waltz as Colonel Hans Landa was the shining star of the movie. He was phenomenal. He plays the part of the "Jew Hunter" and mass murderer without the smarmy attitude, cocky demeanor, and snake oil salesman looks that normally accompany such a character. It'll pain you to acknowledge, but Col. Landa IS great at what he does in his role as Jew Hunter. He's a brilliant officer who can "smoke out Jews" in places that other people have searched again and again and found nothing. He seems to never break a sweat. If he's cocky, it's because it's deserved. Hitler has greasy hair, a whiny little voice, and that stupid mustache that makes you laugh at him rather than fear him. But Hans Landa is an intelligent, calm, and well spoken (in 3.5 languages no less) man. You want to like him because he's a kindly man who simply wants to be the best at his job. He even makes an interesting point in the beginning (albeit rudely comparing Jews to rats) by asking a man if he hates rats, and if a rat came into his home would he immediately feel animosity toward the rat, or offer it a bowl of milk. Most people would shoo the rat out, or worse, set a trap to kill it, despite the fact that rats haven't done anything to harm humankind for over 100 years. I don't like being compared to a rat anymore than the next guy; and I'm a firm believer that humans are humans, no religion is the "rat" of the race, but for the first time someone explains racism to me in a way that I can understand, while still not condoning or agreeing with. I hate rats. I wouldn't allow a rat in my house. But a rat has never done anything to me personally. I don't even know if I've ever seen a rat in person.

My one annoyance with the movie was Diane Krueger. She's an actual German born actress, but her English is so good that she has to put on a fake German accent when she speaks English in the movie, and it just sounds phony. I'm a stickler for accents. It's another reason I love Inglorious Basterds so much. I so prefer for 2 French people in a movie to speak French, and have subtitles, than for a French couple to speak English with French accents. It is my biggest pet peeve. No one does good accents, it makes no sense, except that Americans get lazy and don't want to read their movies. Maybe it was his commitment to the subject matter, or maybe Tarantino is such a big star he can just do whatever he wants, but the variety of languages spoken in the movie add to the realism and experience of the entire film.

Highly recommend.

Sherlock Holmes

I'll see basically anything with Robert Downey, Jr. in it, which was the only reason I was excited to see the new Sherlock Holmes movie. Well thank god for RDJ because this movies is a must see. RDJ and his costar and Dr. Watson, Jude Law have very similar comedic timing and humor. They play so well together and have such great chemistry, I hope this is a sign of things to come. I could have done without Rachel McAdams quite frankly. She is one of my favorite current actresses so I mean no disrespect, but her role was altogether unnecessary in my opinion. There was barely any sexual or romantic chemistry between her and Robert Downey, Jr, or rather her character and that of Sherlock Holmes. I usually want every movie, regardless of its topic, to be a love story. But this movie just doesn't need it.

The subject matter was thought provoking if not a little played out right now. Another film about secret societies? But it didn't dwell too much on it, and in the end showed that it's just a bunch of hooey so who can really argue. Sherlock Holmes is still the ultimate detective. In the height of CSI and every other real life show about solving crimes in 43 minutes or less, who would think that one could be satisfied with anything less than a full crime lab and split second DNA testing? Holmes solves crimes with smell, taste, keen observation, and his killer intuition. It's fascinating how he can win a fight against a much strong opponent by predicting their every move, and by knowing where to hit on a man to get the most impact, regardless of brute force. (not that RDJ's brute force is in question. There are many shirtless scenes, and if I might borrow some terminology from the time period the movie is set in :swoon:)

My favorite part about watching this movie was Andy Garcia's role as the villain. He was SO great and barely recognizable, with his sinister British accent and all. Wasn't it a shock for me when the credits rolled around and it wasn't Andy Garcia at all, but his doppleganger, English actor Mark Strong. Seriously, I'm still in disbelief that it's not Andy Garcia. It was also the hottest Andy has ever been, so he should take some tips from this Mark guy. I also didn't realize until the credits that it was a Guy Richie film. I try to think this guy has nothing more going for him other than having been married to Madonna for a decade...but I have to admit, he makes a mean movie.

All in all, I highly recommend this movie. Just the right amount of blood, intrigue, suspense, humor, and eye candy to entice the masses (oh hey, I just found a purpose for Rachel McAdams in the movie).

The Invention of Lying

The movie is hysterical and brilliant. It doesn't take too long to realize it is set in the modern day, but in a world completely devoid of religion. People are inherently good because no one is capable of lying. They are literally phsycially incapable of lying, and believe 100% that everything everyone tells them is so. There aren't words for "truth" and "lie", everything just "is". The main character (Ricky Gervais of the British Office and my HERO) somehow tells a lie and doesn't understand how or why he did it. He needs $800 for his rent and only has $300 in his bank account. He tells the teller he has $800 in there and she apologizes profusely that their system was wrong. He slowly realizes that telling lies can help people feel better. His mother is dying and is scared to go into a world of nothingness, so he assures her after death she will go to a beautiful place with all the people she loves and a mansion to live in. (sound familiar?) It reassures her and comforts her and helps her die in peace. He feels good and happy that he was able to make his mom not so scared to die by making up a story about this great place you go when you die. The nurses and doctor (cameo by Jason Bateman? Don't mind if I do!) overhear him telling the story, and are incapable of NOT thinking it's 100% true so they alert the media who camp out at the main character's home, desperate to know more about what happens after you die. He works out an elaborate story, and becomes a bit of a messiah, claiming to have spoken to a big man in the sky who explained where they go when they die, what happens, how to get to this good place. It's really a hilarious jab at modern religion in my opinion. I'm probably biased not believing in religion, I can imagine people being really offended by the movie.I found it phenomenal. There were so many clever exchanges. Main character Mark tells his lifelong best friend his name is Doug and his friend responds "Whoa, how did I never know your real name?", then says he has one arm and he says "well your prosthetic is really great". LOL! Such a good time.

The cast is amazing. Every time you turn around there is a new huge star in a small role. Jason Bateman, Louis CK, Rob Lowe, Tina Fey, Jennifer Garner (who has a large role). It was just a great film in general. It was also a not very subtle commercial for Budweiser and Pizza Hut. I hope they got plenty of money from them! I walked out craving a frosty Bud and slice of pizza.